Toys from My Childhood-Milky The Marvelous Milking Cow

This is a toy from my childhood, although I did not own this.  I remember this commercial quite vividly.  Please to enjoy “Milky The Marvelous Milking Cow”.

Wow.  Just wow.  I wonder what kind of gross artificial chemicals were in those milk pellets?  That pretend milk looks just absolutely nasty!

This toy was not geared towards farm kids.  All the farm kids I knew thought this was pretty stupid.

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I Miss Mr. Whipple

Here’s the latest in the long running Charmin Bears toilet paper series of commercials, and it’s just as disturbing as the Left Over Bits ad.

The plot, if you will, features an Ursidae couple during a night alone.  The male bear is playing the Barry White card and the female half of the couple is definitely interested, as indicated by her “oh yeah, come here” look.   The camera turns back to the male bear, pans back, and we see that he is sitting on the crapper while at the same time serenading and caressing his face with a long string of toilet paper.

Wait.  What?

After the standard product demonstration, now the couple are sitting on the couch together, using a roll of toilet paper in their foreplay.

And this is supposed to make me want to buy Charmin….why?

They should heed the words of the late, great, sorely missed Mr. Whipple:  Please don’t squeeze the Charmin.

Please don’t squeeze, fondle, or caress the Charmin.

One of these things is not like the other

When you watch a video on You Tube, the site will suggest other videos for you to see.  These videos usually have something to do with the video you are currently watching.  Sometimes, the video suggested only shares a tag in common.  And other times, suggestions will leave you scratching your head.

You Tube gave a recent suggestion while I was watching a Brett Favre parody video.

Click for larger image

The video on You Tube.

Somewhat Perverted Convenience Store Names

 

Kum & Go

 

Were all the other alternate spellings taken?

 

Pump 'n Pak

Pump 'n Pak

 

I won’t ask if you won’t tell.

WTF Recommendations #2

When I hear a Rolling Stones song, I automatically think of women's deoderant

Because I watched a 1973 commercial for Soft & Dri Deoderant featuring a voice over with Casey Kasem, You Tube thinks I should watch a video for The Rolling Stone’s Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo (Heartbreaker).

Really, You Tube?  What does Mick Jagger have to do with women’s deodorant?   What does this song even have to do with deodorant?   The lyrics talk about some sad and gritty subjects (drug use being one of them), but I don’t recall pitting out your shirt or people offended by the nasty funk you are emitting from your armpits being one of them.

Casey Kasem hosted America’s Top 40 and played quite a few Rolling Stones songs in his day, but Casey Kasem did a lot of other things and I don’t see You Tube recommending I watch a particular episode of Scooby Doo because I watched an old deoderant commercial.

Just because two things happened in the same decade doesn’t mean they are even remotely related.

Here’s Two Minutes and Thirty Eight Seconds of Your Life You Will Never Get Back

This is:

a)  a train wreck of epic proportions

b) proof that having your face pulled as taut as this woman’s also affects your ability to dance

c)  campy gay Guido back-up dancers can’t even save this pile of crap

d) a whole new level of suck

Toys from My Childhood-Baby Laughs A Lot

Here is a toy from my childhood.  Baby Laughs A Lot

What.  The. Hell.

I don’t remember this and I think it’s because the memory of this doll and commercial was so traumatic, I repressed any and all memories of it.  This doll is the bastard child of Chucky from the Child’s Play movies and the horrifying “Get Your Tickets Here!” Monkey from The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed Up Zombies. Imagine this doll sitting up on your shelf with those demonic eyes following you and mocking you with its evil laugh.  Imagine this doll sitting up on your shelf and boring holes through your very soul with its demonic eyes as you try to sleep at night.

And you’re six years old.

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